I Still Haven’t Bounced Back More Than 1 Year After Giving Birth

Let me start by saying that I’m uncomfortable writing about this because it’s a topic that annoys / frustrates me almost every day. However, I know I’m not the only mom who’s felt this way about trying to lose baby weight and regain muscular strength and endurance, so in the spirit of transparency, and for me to look back on (and hopefully laugh) in the future, here’s how it’s gone for me.

My pre-baby expectations for bouncing back

Based on what I’d heard, read and seen from other postpartum moms, I figured getting back to my former (physical) self was going to take some time, but I thought one year was probably enough – and I arbitrarily set that as a goal in my head. It seemed like an ample amount of time to recover and then regroup and begin the process of getting my body back.

I truly wasn’t under the false impression that I was going to be one of those women who lost the weight immediately and looked like a million dollars a month later, but I also didn’t think that it would be as difficult as it really has been. Another thing I’d heard beforehand was that one of the benefits of breastfeeding was the associated weight loss. It wasn’t the reason I chose to breastfeed, but it certainly was a perk I was hoping to cash in on.

The post-baby reality of bouncing back

I was not remotely prepared for the reality of physical recovery after having a baby. For me, it was ROUGH. I dreaded going to the bathroom and showering for weeks because of how much it hurt, and how much after-care was required each time. I’ve never been more thankful for peri bottles, adult diapers, pain relieving sprays and medicated cooling pads in my life. There are MANY videos on YouTube detailing all the supplies you need for postpartum recovery for a reason! Anyhow…

After getting over the initial recovery period, which took roughly one month – and having begun to breastfeed around the clock – the majority of the extra weight I had accumulated during pregnancy did come off. But then the weight loss came to a dead halt. It drove me crazy because I’d always watched my weight carefully and exercised intensely, but the scale still didn’t budge. I figured when I got back to a consistent training schedule with running (meaning, 5-6 days of running per week) that it would surely come off and I’d be good – but no, that hasn’t been the case. 

How I feel about that reality now and moving forward

For a while I weighed myself – maybe once or twice per month – just to check-in and see how I was doing. After months of seeing zero change / progress toward my ‘goal,’ I stopped – it was stressing me out and ruining my mood. I’m honestly not sure what I weigh right now, or how close or far I am from my former size – and I’m fine with that; it’s what’s best for my mental health right now.

For a long time I avoided buying any new clothes, despite the few I had that fit (which were mostly maternity clothes), because I figured I would fit back into my old clothes at some point. But as time went on without any change to my clothing size, I finally started to buy a few shirts and shorts here and there – a size bigger than I was before. I know that no one cares about this but me, and that it doesn’t matter – but I do admit it still bothers me and is a source of embarrassment to some degree.

As time has gone on, I feel like I’ve slowly accepted this new person and body I see in the mirror, and I do try to see the beauty in the ways I’ve physically changed. Maybe I will get back to that former version of myself, and maybe I won’t. I’m still a work in progress (in my mental progression) in this area, and my reflection still makes me cringe sometimes – but I am trying to move forward with a more positive outlook.

How did you view your postpartum body, and what has that physical transition been like for you?