I’ve heard some women say they were meant to be moms; that it’s the something they’ve dreamt about and aspired to for as long as they can remember. I was never one of these women. I always assumed I’d become a mother someday, but it wasn’t ever something I longed for or thought about very much.
I started babysitting when I was 12, and my first paid job was as a camp counselor for the 3 to 5 year old age group. Meaning, I had dealt with enough hyperactive children to have a healthy amount of knowledge (and fear) that parenting was going to be hard and exhausting as hell.
As I inched toward thirty, the pressure of that darn biological clock started ticking more loudly in my ear. As nervous about having children as I was, I also didn’t want to miss out by waiting “too long.” At the point in time when we got married I was FAR from ready, and looked forward to enjoying and living up married life as just us two.
Often, we hear about women pressuring men into having kids, but for us, it was somewhat the opposite. Disclaimer: I was never pressured in any way, but my husband is someone who has always gravitated toward children, and it was always apparent that he was going to be an incredible parent some day. While we were dating, he frequently mentioned wanting to start a family, and it was always me telling him to put on the brakes and wait a while – or a decade.
What’s interesting about this baby decision saga is that the lightswitch from not wanting to wanting kids, for me, was sudden. I’ll never forget the day I changed my mind for a reason I still honestly can’t even recall. We were at a birthday party for a friend’s daughter, sitting at a mini picnic table, when I blurted out that I was ready and that we should go for it. My husband was so surprised he almost fell over backwards, but of course immediately agreed.
After that point, we threw caution to the wind and started trying. To loop back and think more about what changed for me, it was as simple as finally accepting that there was never going to be the perfect time, and that I was never going to be ready. Would I have liked to be more professionally, financially and psychologically prepared? Sure! But setting lofty expectations just didn’t feel right, and looking back, the timing was perfect and we ended up with the most perfect (for US) little boy!
Finding out I was pregnant was one of the best days of my life and one that I’ll never forget. What was even better was telling my husband that he was (finally) going to be a dad.
How and/or when did you know (or realize) you were ready? Share your story with me below!